I can’t believe I did it again. I said “yes” to an invitation when what I really wanted to say was “no”. It’s been a long time since I had given in to a friendly nudge. I knew all too well that my schedule this month is fully booked. I didn’t want to disappoint my friend who was totally excited about her upcoming event.
Has this ever happened to you too? It’s incredible that one of the shortest English words is actually among the top three most difficult things to say. (The other two are “help me” and “I love you”.)
In that brief moment of trying to be nice, I have neglected my own needs. I have created an internal conflict that put me in a dilemma. I felt obligated to attend the event but I couldn’t fully enjoy it because I was preoccupied with my tight work schedule.
Being able to assertively say no is a major part of setting personal boundaries. Having personal boundaries doesn’t mean we’re being unfriendly. In fact, these boundaries are essential to maintaining healthy relationships, both at work and at home, in the long term.
As a financial analyst, do you feel obligated to keep taking on more responsibilities even when you’re already overloaded with work? Are you worried that saying no would place you in the bad light with your co-workers or your boss? Do you make known your personal commitments when some non-urgent do-it-now assignments pop up?
“Maxim for life: You get treated in life the way you teach people to treat you.” - Wayne Dyer
This recent experience of mine is a reminder of this truth. My friend wouldn’t know about my busy work schedule this month unless I tell her about it. Having clear personal boundaries help with:
• Attending to our own needs
• Clearly expressing our needs to others
• Assertively and respectfully articulating how we want to be treated
• Managing external conflicts
• Prevent internal conflicts
• Effective time management
To successfully set healthy personal boundaries is a simple three-step process:
1. Understand your needs
2. Assertively express your boundaries
3. Implement and monitor your boundaries
If you’re ever unsure or don’t really know how to respond on the spot, ask for a little time. Think it over what your needs are and respond diplomatically where your boundaries are. If you’re unable to meet the needs of the other person, suggest alternative solutions to help them.
I’m sure that as a financial analyst, you have a lot to juggle with between your work and your personal life. Apply your boundaries both at work and after work. You may be amazed to find that your co-workers, friends and family are pleased to hear clear, unequivocal messages from you on your preferences.
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